


Don't Be Scared

by Croc9400



Series: Malec One Line Prompt Challenge [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dark Magnus Bane, Discussed not described, Established Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Innocent Alec Lightwood, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Mundane Alec Lightwood, Mundane Magnus Bane, Mundane Magnus Bane/Mundane Alec Lightwood, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Protective Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27037252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Croc9400/pseuds/Croc9400
Summary: Alec finds out something about Magnus and it threatens their entire relationship***Day 7 - "are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you've been dying to ask me?"
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Malec One Line Prompt Challenge [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952176
Comments: 13
Kudos: 118





	Don't Be Scared

**Author's Note:**

> I have been trying to develop an AU like this for so freaking long and I finally found a spot for it. I know I said this one might be on the longer side, but I decided to cut this one short and what I'm going to do is work more of these prompts into this dark Magnus AU. This is an angsty little universe I'm very excited to set up so I hope you enjoy!

Magnus washed his hands methodically. 

Even when he didn’t have to, it was a force of habit now. He scrubbed each finger between two of his own, the scarred pads of his fingers, rubbing methodically between each finger before going back to his palm. He scratched his nails against his palm before ensuring he fully cleaned out under his fingernails. He was unable to simply rinse his hands, every time they got wet he had to wash them like this. 

He slowly turned off the water and took the towel off his shoulder and dried his hands before drying the sink handles. 

“Magnus?”

Magnus perked up at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice, hyper-focused on the tone of his voice. He sounded almost hesitant, maybe scared? Usually, he reveled in fear, loved hearing the terror in someone’s voice as they realized they weren’t getting out. But he didn’t want Alec to be scared, he never wanted Alec to be scared. 

“Everything alright?” Magnus asked, poking his head out of the kitchen and into the dining room where Alec was sitting in front of his still untouched plate of food. 

“Yeah,” Alec nodded quickly, “was just...just wondering what was taking you so long,” 

“Nothing important,” Magnus smiled, tossing the towel onto the counter before moving back into the dining room and sitting down, “you know I made that for you to eat, darling,” 

“Yeah, yeah I know,” Alec said, picking up his fork and knife as Magnus did. Magnus watched his young boyfriend begin to eat, his hands shaking slightly as he began to cut into his steak. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Alexander?” Magnus asked softly, putting his fork down and taking the knife from Alec’s. He put the knife on the table and held Alec’s hand in his, trying to look him in the eye, but Alec was looking elsewhere. His gaze was fixed on the knife in Magnus’ other hand. That’s when it dawned on Magnus. 

Alec knew. 

He didn’t know how Alec had found out, but clearly he knew. He had never seen Alec this afraid around him, but now he was staring at the knife in Magnus’ hands as if he were going to stab him at any moment. 

The fear wasn’t unfounded. 

But Magnus wouldn’t though, he would never. He was more in love with Alec than he should be after two months and he knew that he would never do anything to hurt Alec. He would make sure that no one ever hurt Alec. Even if Alec knew, even if Alec broke up with him, even if Alec told on him, he would still never hurt him. 

Though, he might inadvertently hurt him because of his...preoccupation. No one he’d dated had ever found him out, they’d ended up leaving him before it ever came up, too put off by other parts of him. But Alec...Alec stayed. Alec continued to try and break through Magnus’ walls, no matter how much Magnus insisted he wouldn’t like what he found. It scared him, a lot, it was why he had stopped dating. 

Alec had been the first one he’d actually gone on a date with in a while. He didn’t expect to ask Alec on a date, just expected to pick him up for the night and leave him, but once they’d gotten to talking Magnus found himself asking Alec out on a date rather than just for a single night. 

The strangest thing about their relationship to Magnus is they still hadn’t done more than make out with each other. Due to the nature of his preoccupation, he was typically a one and done type of guy, but Alec was so young, so innocent. Alec’s age got to him sometimes, but he was nineteen. Magnus was only twenty-four, but that was enough of a gap to make him a little uncomfortable, but he couldn’t help what he felt. 

He loved Alec, he knew that, though he had yet to say it out loud. The fierce protectiveness he felt, the way his heart fluttered whenever he saw him, how all he ever wanted to do was hold Alec close and shower him in everything he could ever want. 

Alec’s eyes were still on the knife in his hand and the sadistic part of him wanted to keep it there and watch the fear spread throughout his body. But this was Alec. The thought of him being afraid overpowered the want to see him scared. He put the knife down before placing his now empty hand on top of the hand of Alec’s that he was holding. 

“Darling?” Magnus looked him in the eye, sincerely, trying to gauge anything from him. He only saw fear and he didn’t want to think about how much that scared him. 

“I...I have to go,” Alec said quickly, taking his hand from Magnus’ and standing, letting the napkin that was on his lap fall to the floor as he hurried towards the door. Magnus sighed and felt real, tangible fear flow through him. He began to panic, hating the feeling of fear that was threatening to overtake his entire body. He took a deep breath and controlled himself. This conversation was not going to go well if Magnus was overrun with fear. Nothing he ever did went well if he was overrun with fear. 

“Are you really going to leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?” Magnus asked, leaning back in his chair. He picked up the knife again and began twirling it between his fingers, not to scare Alec, but to help him gain back his confidence and keep his cool. The last thing he wanted to do was lose control, and if he let the fear overtake him, he most certainly would. 

Alec stopped in the doorway, hand halfway to the knob, clearly thinking about Magnus’ question. Magnus stood up, knife still twirling between his fingers as he made his way across the room. 

“I told you if you started to break down my walls you wouldn’t like what you found,” Magnus reminded him, stopping a few feet from him, “now ask me,” 

Alec’s eyes were trained on the knife in his hand still, his breathing hurried as he seemed frozen in his place, unsure whether he should run out the door or stay and ask. 

Magnus sighed and rolled his eyes before throwing the knife at the floor, making sure it spun so it landed sticking up in the hardwood, causing Alec to jump, “ask me!” 

“The murders,” Alec breathed out quickly, “the...the ones with the pads of their fingers removed…” 

“What about them?” Magnus pushed, the sick, self-hating part of him wanting Alec to say it. He knew what was coming, the only good thing that had happened to him in the past twenty-four years of his life was going to walk out the door, never look back, and possibly ruin his life. 

“Was...was it you?” Alec sounded like he was going to vomit, still staring at the knife stuck in the floor. 

“Yes,” Magnus said firmly, not bothering to hide it, “how’d you find out?”

“I-I figured it out on my own,” Alec quickly, “with some help,”

“Your sister,” Magnus concluded, knowing she worked as a forensic specialist on cases specific to her. Magnus saw Alec tense up when he mentioned his sister and he chuckled a little, shaking his head. He took a few steps closer to Alec, and he saw Alec’s hand tightened on the doorknob. While the sadistic part of Magnus wanted to tease Alec a bit longer, he knew he needed to alleviate the boy’s fears. 

“Relax, darling,” Magnus said softly, running his hand through Alec’s hair and down to his cheek, “if I wanted to kill you or your family I would’ve done it by now. I’ve had ample opportunity,” 

“Wh-why?” Alec just looked confused, looking him in the eye. 

“Why haven’t I killed you or why do I kill people?” Magnus asked, “because I’m only willing to answer one of those questions,” 

“Why haven’t you killed me?” Alec asked. 

“Because I love you,” Magnus said honestly, looking into Alec’s eyes and making sure he knew he was sincere. 

“Oh my god!” Alec yelled in shock, fear, disgust, Magnus couldn’t tell. He pulled out of Magnus’ grip and for a moment he thought Alec was going to run, but he pushed past him into the living room. 

“Oh god…” Alec breathed out, wiping his eyes as his hands shook, “what the hell...you’re...you’re in love with me?! How?!”

“How could I not be?” Magnus asked, grabbing the knife from the floor, needing to boost his confidence, before moving towards him, “Alexander, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life,”

“Stop, just, please, stop,” Alec said, a hand up between them. Magnus stopped both walking and speaking, just looking at Alec as he seemed to gather his thoughts. 

“What the hell...a-a serial killer is in love with me, a serial killer is in love with me,” Alec started laughing as he repeated the words. 

“Do you not feel the same?” Magnus asked, not denying the title Alec had thrust on him. It wasn’t the one that he preferred, but he figured that that wasn’t an argument to get into right now. He could debate that later, but right now he had much more pressing matters to address. 

“I don’t know what I feel, certainly not now!” Alec laughed again, throwing his hands up in exasperation before wiping his eyes, “fuck,” 

“Darling,” Magnus said softly, “let me explain, please,” 

Alec sighed, shaking his head, “okay,”

“Sit, please,” Magnus said, gesturing to the couch.

“I’m good,” Alec said firmly, holding his ground. Magnus shrugged, figuring if Alec wasn’t going to sit then he was going to, “no you...you stay there,” 

“Okay,” Magnus nodded, twirling the knife between his fingers as he stopped heading towards the couch and took a few steps back for good measure. 

“Start talking,” Alec said as firmly as he could. There was still a great amount of fear lacing his voice, but he hadn’t turned and run out the door, so that was clearly something.

“I...I haven’t had the best life,” Magnus began cautiously, “scratch that, actually, my life has been hell, since the beginning. My father raped my mother then disappeared. My mom and I lived on the street until she married my step-dad when I was five. My step-dad molested me, god knows what he did to my mother. She committed suicide when I was seven. I tried to kill my step-dad when I was eight. He kept me locked in the basement until he sold me to sex traffickers when I was twelve,”

“Oh god,” Alec’s voice was soft, but Magnus heard it. He sighed and shook his head before continuing.

“I was kept in a brothel. When I first got there, the owner burned off my fingertips, I’m still not entirely sure why, but it was the worst physical pain I’ve ever felt. I killed the owner when I was eighteen, freed everyone else there. He kept detailed records of everyone who came in, everyone who...everyone who used me,” his voice broke slightly but he pulled himself back together, holding the knife tighter. He saw Alec track his movements but he didn’t care, he needed it, “after that I drank, did drugs, went out and had so much sex that I was in control of to try and forget, forget everything. I couldn’t really tell you much of my life from that point on until I ran into a childhood friend, one of the few I had, sometime when I was twenty-three. She helped me get clean, well, cleaner, and that’s when I found out I still had the records of everything that happened to me,” 

“So...all the people…” Alec began softly, looking at Magnus with a look that he couldn’t quite decipher. 

“I’ve been crossing them off the list, one by one,” Magnus confirmed, “acid to burn off fingerprints is pretty expensive, a knife does the job just fine,”

“God, Magnus, I-” Alec cut himself off as he took a step towards Magnus, clearly hesitating. He took a breath and refocused himself, “you...you don’t kill innocent people?” 

“Never,” Magnus assured him, taking a hesitant step forward, relieved when Alec didn’t tell him to stop, “and I would never hurt you, Alexander, I mean that. I would murder anyone who dared to lay an unwanted finger on you, and that includes myself,” 

Alec looked at him again with that same look he couldn’t decipher. Magnus took another step closer, encouraged again when Alec didn’t take a step back. 

“Alexander, I will say it for the rest of my days, I love you,” Magnus insisted again, laying the knife down on the coffee table before stopping right in front of Alec, “but if you want nothing to do with me, I understand. You can walk out that door and I swear on my mother’s grave you and your family will never see me again,” 

Alec stared at him for a moment before taking Magnus’ face in both of his hands and kissing him, hard. Magnus responded quickly, wrapping his arms around Alec and quickly taking control of the kiss. Magnus lost track of time as they kissed, just wrapped in each other’s embrace, enjoying the feeling of their mouths and bodies pressed together.

“I…” Alec trailed off when they pulled apart, “I think I love you too,” 

Magnus only smiled before pulling Alec in for another kiss. He needed a distraction right now. He had just brought up so much of his past, regardless of how vague it was, it was threatening to spill through the barriers he had put up in his brain. So he let himself truly get lost in Alec, something he’d never been able to do. He’d always been too scared to lose himself in another person. But Alec was different. He didn’t know quite yet if he was a good difference, but he really wanted it to be. 

Alexander Lightwood was either going to be his greatest triumph or his greatest downfall. 

Either way, Magnus was fully on board with it.

**Author's Note:**

> I truly hoped you enjoyed that and are excited for more parts of dark Magnus  
> The next prompt is "did I stutter?" and I'm not quite sure where I want to go with this yet and I'd like some input. It's either going to be an argument or some sort of sexy time. So let me know in the comments if you'd rather "did I stutter?" be an argument or sexy times.  
> Again, thanks for much for reading, leave kudos, comments below, and subscribe if you like my work :)


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